Taxi Taxonomy

I used to work during the graveyard shift, and since the economic jeepney is unavailable, I often resort to taxi’s if I’m too lazy to walk from where the bus literally eject me (Hey, I always pay my fare!) which is in front of GMA7 (thus I live in constant fear of headlining the morning newscast, if I meet an accident in slow news day: “LALAKE BIYAK ANG UTAK,” or something equally morbid to be served in your breakfast dose of whatever happened last night). Anyway, forgive my predilection for parenthesis. So on to the real topic: TAXI DRIVERS.

I classify taxi drivers according to their law-abiding-ness (sounds like “kabading-ness” which is just as close). There are two kinds: those who drive as if all of Manila is an expressway and, those who have a knack for hitting the red light. Both of them I loathe. The former endangers my life (but saves my money) and the other endangers my pocket (I’m not sure if he is attempting to save my life, or his license, but damn those meters!) True, there are taxi-drivers who neither treat all of Manila as an expressway, and are law-abiding for no economic or pecuniary reason, but trust me, they’re rare. So rare, that a convention of taxonomist was held to declare them endangered. At least, in Manila they are.

When I was a kid, my father made me ride a caterpillar, and regretted it afterwards after I belched out my entire dinner to the people at our back. It’s comforting to know that nobody has yet come up to me and say, “Hey you’re that kid who vomited sinigang…” My stomach is easily upset. The LTO should discriminate against frustrated race car drivers. Or else, each time I ride a taxi, my dinner will be on the car floor before you say “Harrison Ford!” While they save me money on taxi fare, these drivers increases my insurance premium. Maybe, they are in conspiracy with funeral and burial plans. They make you realize that once you get out of your house, you are in danger. And thus, you need to get insurance. If you’re not rich enough to own and drive a car, you better get yourself an insurance if you rely on taxi drivers to transport your corporal self in one-piece from point A to Z. These taxi’s don’t have seatbelts, and have no cares for them.

The second sort of taxi drivers are those who are so law abiding they practically know that the stoplight is in red, up to Tomas Morato when you haven’t even turned into E. Rodriguez corner Araneta Avenue. These are taxi drivers that give you an ample time to view every funeral homes that lines Araneta Avenue, from Arlington up to St. Peters. They seem to take you to a tour: YOUR FUTURE FUNERAL HOME. The tour adds twenty-to fifty bucks from your usual fare.

What’s the moral of the story? If you ride taxi’s at night, buy an insurance. What else?

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November 2, 2009

I was on errand this week to pay for a delivery we had ordered. I hailed a Taxi from Timog told him to wait for me. He told me that he would rather flag me down again, and wait for me for five minutes. Otherwise, he would be at loss. Now, I told him I work for the office of so and so, and I would not thrift him on the fare, but he continued to bewail the disadvantaged of waiting for me with the meter on. I assure him that I will not take long, because I will just be there to pay for the charge. But I guess, I was not talking his language which was in digits. So we didn't reached an agreement. I send him away instead. The delivery boy hailed me another taxi after I had paid. Some taxi drivers are just greedy.